Updates at bottom.
This must be Google-day:
Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can’t Index
“A year ago, Google offered to scan every book on the planet for its Google Print project. Now, they are promising to burn the rest,” John Battelle wrote in his widely read “Searchblog.” “Thanks to Google Purge, you’ll never have to worry that your search has missed some obscure book, because that book will no longer exist. And the same goes for movies, art, and music.”
“Book burning is just the beginning,” said Google co-founder Larry Page. As a part of Phase One operations, Google executives will permanently erase the hard drive of any computer that is not already indexed by the Google Desktop Search.
The company’s new directive may explain its recent acquisition of Celera Genomics, the company that mapped the human genome, and its buildup of a vast army of laser-equipped robots. Google’s robot army is rumored to include some 4 million cybernetic search-and-destroy units, each capable of capturing and scanning up to 100 humans per day. Said co-founder Sergey Brin: “The scanning will be relatively painless. Hey, it’s Google. It’ll be fun to be scanned by a Googlebot. But in the event people resist, the robots are programmed to liquify the brain.”
OK, so it’s humor .. after all it is from The Onion.
P.S. Does this mean Microsoft is now officially Off the Hook?
Update (9/1) Russel Glass chimes in: there is actually some truth to the Onion’s piece.
Update 2 (9/3) So, before long — the operating system, the artificial heart, and monthly blackmail cheques made payable to ‘The company that can do no evil”.
Update 4 (11/17) Russel Glass shows Epic 2014. Hey, I beat you by a year, we’re in 2015:-)
Update 5 (03/06): “We have all the ingredients for a great story: dramatic predictions of
Google taking over the world, secret disclosures of a new stealth
product at a Google analyst meeting, outing of the story by bloggers,
and subsequent purging of the public data by Google to keep things
hidden from the public and competitors.“ read on at TechCrunch.