Zoli's Blog » Humor

Dilbert on the News Business

Zoli Erdos — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:58:50 +0000

The End of Cloud Computing? Chavez to Bomb the Clouds..

Zoli Erdos — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:56:48 +0000

Well, not really *that* Cloud.. but it’s the weekend (for a few hours), so light weight posts are in order. Reuters reports:

Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez says he will join a team of Cuban scientists on flights to "bomb clouds" to create rain amid a severe drought that has aroused public anger due to water and electricity rationing.

Chavez, who has asked Venezuelans to take three-minute showers to save water, said the Cubans had arrived in Venezuela and were preparing to fly specially equipped aircraft above the Orinoco river.

"I’m going in a plane; any cloud that crosses me, I’ll zap it so that it rains," Chavez said at a ceremony late on Saturday.

Cloud Seeding is not a new concept: amongst others the Mayor of Moscow plans to resort to it to keep snow away from Moscow (no more White Christmas?), the Chinese reportedly used it to clear the air for the Beijing Olympics, and it’s an old trick of the long-gone Soviet leadership to provide such “air cover” for their big military parade.

But don’t worry: “our” Cloud will be OK. Oh, and they won’t reach Cloud Avenue either.

Fun Video from FakeOffice.org

Zoli Erdos — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:56:43 +0000

I’m Productized Again – This Time By Dell

Zoli Erdos — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:51:57 +0000

First there was Nokia, with the secretive, luxury, yet-to-be-released Nokia Erdos. Back then I said:

Come think of it… I think I Open Source my name. Apple, Dell, Sony, BMW, Mercedes..etc, I’m looking forward to your Erdos models. Just don’t forget to send a courtesy unit.

Dell listened: they are coming out with the Latitude Z luxury notebook, the first notebook to charge wirelessly. Whose next? BMW? Mercedes?

I’ll be happy to add these brands to My Z-life. Just remember to send a courtesy product

I’ve Got Productized by Nokia

Zoli Erdos — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:45:18 +0000

It’s not every day one sees his family name as headline on TechMeme. Well, if that name is Scoble or Arrington, sure, but for the rest of us it’s a red-letter-day…

Well, it just happened to me, courtesy of Nokia, and the shiny new Nokia Erdos luxury phone. Last I checked a few years ago, they could not keep up with demand for the $5K Vertu phones in platinum, gold and diamond casings. The Nokia Erdos will only have brushed aluminum casing, but it’s stuffed with hi-tech, like the OLED display, a rising keyboard, 5 megapixel auto-focus camera with Carl Zeiss optics, etc. Here’s a promo video:

(Why is this, and all other copies on Youtube so blurry?)

Anyway, back to Nokia. I’m a little pi***ed that they did not ask me … but in the end, it’s OK. I don’t get productized every day, after all. Just remember to send me a test unit, Nokia!

Come think of it… I think I Open Source my name. Apple, Dell, Sony, BMW, Mercedes..etc, I’m looking forward to your Erdos models. Just don’t forget to send a courtesy unit.

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve)

Microsoft Vissa and Other Customer Service Gems

Zoli Erdos — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:50:19 +0000

I don’t normally quote such a huge chunk of a post, but this is a gem:

A couple years ago, after trying nearly everything to get my new Dell to work, I did the unthinkable. I called Dell’s tech support. After giving the service tag and all that other jazz, I explained the problem to the technician.

"According to the BIOS," I said, "my computer has 4GB of RAM installed. But Vista Ultimate only shows 2GB."

"Hmm," the tech responded, "what is this Vissa software you are using?"

"Microsoft Vista Ultimate," I explained, "you know, the new Microsoft OS?"

The rep paused. "I’m sorry, we don’t support third party software. But if you would like, I can help you restore your computer to its original state. Do you have your Dell Resource CD?"

"No, no," I countered, "this isn’t third party software. It is the operating system that came with the computer when I purchased it from you."

"What is the software called again?"

"Microsoft Vista," I said slowly, "Ultimate Edition."

The rep put me on hold for a few minutes and returned several minutes later. "Where did you get this Vissa program? I will see if anyone here has heard of it."

"Well," I wasn’t sure how to respond, "it’s Microsoft’s newest Operating System, and it is called Vista."

"Ooooh," the rep responded, "Vissa! Yes, I understand now."

I just waited for a moment.

"Well Mr. Mike," he said, "this is a problem with the Vissa software. We have notified Microsoft and they have informed us that you can not use more than 3GB of memory with this software. I suggest you uninstall it and install the XP Pro that came with your computer."

"But, my computer came with Vista Ultimate installed on it. It is less than two weeks old."

The technician seemed a little confused, "okay, but I can send you a copy of XP Pro?"

"No thank you," I said, "my friend bought the exact same PC, and his shows the 4GB in Vista, so I don’t think it is a bug."

"I see. So is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Mike?"

"I would really like to find out how to resolve this," I pleaded, "I read up a little on it on a website, but I cannot make changes to the BIOS with everything grayed out. I was hoping you could help me?"

"Unfortunately we don’t offer support for other software like Bios and Vissa, but we can help you restore your system back to its original configuration if you would like?"

"No," I was started to get agitated, "I really would like see the 4GB in Vista."

Without even acknowledging my request, the rep said "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"

"But can’t you tell me who else I could check with to try and find answer to this problem?"

In the same exact tone, the rep repeated "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"

I said no, and disconnected the call shortly thereafter.

Hilarious. And yes, I’m pretty sure the story is somewhat exaggerated, perhaps entirely fictional, yet something in the dialogue will no doubt sound familiar to all of us. The Brainless Stonewalling Machine runs Customer Service in far too many places.

Btw, you should bookmark / subscribe to The Daily WTF.

Simplifying the Gartner Hype Cycle – 2.0 Style

Zoli Erdos — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:14:55 +0000

Fellow Enterprise Irregular Vinnie Mirchandani did a good job of un-hyping the Gartner Hype Cycle for emerging technologies.

He points out some inconsistencies comparing this year’s chart to the 2007 version. He should know, he is a Gartner Alumnus himself. But I’ve been wondering if there was a way to further simplify it, i.e. make it digestible to average folks like yours truly .. and I’ve just found it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here’s the simplified, scobleized, oprahized, too-oh-ized version of the Gartner Hype Cycle:

Courtesy of Geek & Poke.

(Cross-posted @ CloudAve)

Now You Have a Choice: GoogleZon or the Opt-out Village

Zoli Erdos — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:14:33 +0000

It’s really simple. Here’s your default choice:

But now you can opt out of all google services. Welcome to the Village, courtesy of The Onion.

Web Site Story

Zoli Erdos — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 03:43:10 +0000

Click here should the embedded video not work…

pubsubhubbub … yaba daba do … whatever. And Fast RSS.

Zoli Erdos — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:48:06 +0000

This must be video day. First the Chrome OS Prank, then the Office 2010 video. I can?t resist.. or maybe I?m in a light mood, but reading the news on pubsubhubbub all I can say is yaba daba do.

Oh, yeah, pubsubhubbub will speed up feeds and all that? serious stuff.

Thanks for watching CloudTube.