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Killing Two Birds with One $700B Stone

A hilarious “bailout” plan -  no, I haven’t made it up:

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I’m sorta liking the idea of selling Alaska to the Russians for $700B. Kills 2 birds with one stone.

10:14 AM September 26, 2008 from Identica

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Cliff Gerrish

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Improving Customer Service

Jeff Nolan rants about his bad experience with Frontier and United Airlines. Nothing new there, we all have our own horror stories. (My “favorite” one is the Christmas flight to Los Cabos, which was supposed to be a 3-hour quickie and became a day-and-a-half nightmare by way of Phoenix, airport motel..etc, courtesy of Alaska Airlines.)

The reason why this rant is quote-worthy is that Jeff moves on, and comes up with some creative ideas to improve customer service.

This led me to highlight a couple of things I could wish to inflict on United:

1) United CEO Glenn Tilton has to give up his private jet and fly around the country on scheduled flights in the last row of the airplane, next to the lavatory.

2) United’s top 500 executives will get dispersed around the country to different airports for the week between Christmas and New Year’s to work the baggage handler, mechanic, cleaning crew, customer service, gate agent, and flight attendant jobs. Everyone works a new job each day until they rotate through all of them.

3) United’s top 500 executives have to greet passengers in the terminal at O’Hare, Denver, SFO, and Dulles airports one day a week until their customer service ranking moves from last to the top 3.

4) Lastly, and this one is serious, Tilton and the other execs have to personally call 5 customers a day to apologize for their shitty airline.

I love these ideas, and seriously, they would work. If United Management cared to improve service, that is… smile_sad