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The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts

toilet Some of my email spam is actually quite entertaining, like this offer for a “research report”:

The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts

The Top 10 Questions The Care and Feeding of Industry Analysts Will Answer For You Include:
1. What are the ten deadly sins NOT to commit when working with an industry analyst firm?
2. What are the typical characteristics of an industry analyst that will enable you to more effectively work with them?
3. As a vendor, when should you be humble and when should you position yourself as an expert?
4. Does subscribing to an analyst’s research improve coverage of your products or company?
5. How is a research briefs created and what impact can a vendor have on its content?
6. What are the three highest-level benefits you can enjoy from an effective analyst relations approach?
7. How can you best capitalize on industry analyst ‘rules of engagement?’
8. Precisely what homework must you do before you brief an analyst?
9. How do vision and ability to execute relate to how an analyst sees your company?
10. During a briefing, how do CEOs, VPs of sales, PR firms and VPs of marketing impact how an analyst sees your company?

The actual report (PDF) costs EUR 316.   Is it worth?  I leave it up to you … but I promised entertainment. Look at the other “research” this paper is associated with:

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Wow.. .I especially love the pairing of Toilet, Laundry and Analysts :-)

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