"Midwest" Discovered between East and West Coasts

“NEW YORK—A U.S. Geological Survey expeditionary force announced Tuesday that it has discovered a previously unknown and unexplored land mass between the New York and California coasts known as the “Midwest….

… Thus far we have discovered places known as Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin,” said Randall Zachary, chief navigator for the expedition. “When translated from the local dialect into English, these words seem to mean ‘summer camp….

… surprised to learn that the Midwest, whose inhospitable environment was long believed to be incapable of supporting human life, is indeed populated, albeit sparsely…

…Though the Midwest territory is still largely unexplored, early reports describe a region as backwards as it is vast. “Many of the basic aspects of a civilized culture appear to be entirely absent,” said Gina Strauch, a Los Angeles-based anthropologist…

…We must remember that these people are not at all like us,” Conde Nast publisher and Manhattan socialite Lucille Randolph Snowdon said. “They are crude and provincial, bewildered by our tall buildings and our art galleries, our books and our coffee shops. For an L.A. resident to attempt to interact with one of them as he or she would with, say, a Bostonian is ludicrous. It appears unlikely that we will ever be able to conduct a genuine exchange of ideas with them about anything, save perhaps television or ‘the big game.'”

source: the ONION:

Interesting … reminds me of another map we’ve all seen in 2004 and 2000: