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Zoli 3.0 Launched

(GUpdated)

In a comment to Robert’s Scoble’s “resume vs. blog” post I promised to launch a “scientific”

test soon … here we go; except that it’s not a test. It’s real: I’m pleased to announce the limited, invitation-only launch of Zoli 3.0.

Unlike some perpetual Beta products,

(see update below) Zoli 3.0 is not a beta, this is the final, stable release.

The Application is strongly recommended for software companies that have a core technology / product and are about to scale up, conquer their market, specifically needing help in one or any combination of the following areas:

  • General Management
  • Sales
  • Business Development
  • Alliances
  • Product Management
  • Marketing
  • Professional Services

Zoli 3.0 has been field-tested in both the Enterprise Software world (SAP, IBM, Deloitte, KPMG…etc), as well as with several startups. It is available for traditional on-premise implementation, or can be served up as SaaS ZaaS. Either way, there are no upfront costs, just pay-as-you-go.

Please check the detailed product specs (click on Full Profile) and some additional info (scroll down). If you’d like to put the power of Zoli 3.0 to work for you, remember, availability is limited, so please either comment at the end of this post, or email zoli3.5 at gmail. Why 3.5? Because for a very limited time we are running a promotion: for the price of 3.0 you will receive the upgraded 3.5.

For additional information please scroll through the Release Notes.

Release 3.0

Current release, see above

Release 2.0

The original robust enterprise product was completely reworked to support the new entrepreneurial environment. New communication, marketing, PR, collaboration modules were added, incorporating the use of blogs and wikis. It’s AJAX-driven, earlier sharp edges were replaced with rounded corners, and it comes in a variety of pastel, opaque colors.

Release 2.0 has been successfully deployed at several startups, full-time or on a part-time basis, and it also proved useful in a non-profit environment. In true Web 2.0 style it was made available for free, which presented a problem for its creator, when it turned out that the brick-and-mortar world (banks, gas stations, groceries) had not joined the 2.0 revolution yet. The need for a profitable business model resulted in the creation of Release 3.0.

Release 1.0

This is the original enterprise version that got deployed throughout the world, including Europe, Asia, Canada and all over the US. Although it was predominantly used by large corporations, but typically in new, startup-like business units, where its application resulted in growth from 0 to the $8–$13M range, in several cases leading to acquisition.

Releases 0.1 – 0.9

Ahh, the early, experimental, careless years! The (Artificial) Intelligence module was enhanced through application at University, worldwide field-tests, and the product was put to some experimental use like the creation of a free professional Association in a then-communist country, and backstage – offstage personal translation for visiting performers (Peter Gabriel, Sting, Brice Springsteen, the Queen and Cliff Richard).

We’re all exited by the anticipated momentum this new launch will bring to your business and again ask for inquiries either in thee form of comments below, or via email to zoli3.5 at gmail.com.

Update (3/13/2006): In response to several email inquiries: even though I chose a humorous way to post it, I really am looking for an opportunity matching the above criteria.

Update (3/15/2006): OK, you no-evil company, I really don’t like you. As soon as tease you for being perpetual beta, you “come out“. (hat tip: OM Malik and Jeff Nolan). Oh, well, here’s another Forever Beta, from the same folks.

Update (3/5/2007): Apparently I’m not the only one with version numbers. Anne Zelenka has just incremented her version number to 2.1 🙂

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WordPress is Fun – Even When it’s Down

The other day I complained that Google was no longer funny, the infamous “cross your fingers” error message was replaced by a “serious” one (probably approved by lawyers…)

Well, WordPress.com is still fun, even when it’s down. Here’s their error message:

“Confessions Of A Server

OH MY! Life is so unfair! What did I do wrong to be born a server in this day and age? I could have been a nice simple bicycle that people happily rode around on all day. But no, I’m stuck inside this metal case serving web pages instead. I never even see the light of day and all I can hear is the rush of the air-conditioning!
Well, no more! I’m relaxing here with a cup of tea and a biscuit until someone shows me some love and attention.

It never takes them long to fix me when I kick up a fuss so check back in a few minutes and I’ll be chugging along merrily again.!

Signed,
The WordPress.com web server
(WordPress.com – where even the machines have life!)”

I love it.. how can one be angry with the outage (as long as it’s not more than 5 minutes), when we get the server’s personal attention?

 

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Battle of the Bulge, Round 2.

Tank The first Battle of the Bulge  was  the last major German offensive on the Western Front during World War II, in December-January of 1944.  It was also the largest land battle the United States Army has fought to date.  The historic battle has been the subject of numerous films and books, including the  Battle of the Bulge made in 1965, starring Henry Fonda.

SupermanThe second Battle of the Bulge is being fought entirely digitally.  The new Superman, 26–year old Australian actor Brandon Routh is apparently … well, super-manly in a certain department down South.  This worries studio Exec’s so much, they ordered to reduce the Bulge digitally.

Apparently, we’re still suffering from the wardrobe malfunction syndrome (isn’t it amazing there is an entry for this in Wikipedia?).  The Rolling Stones gets censored, Superman (digitally) castrated, what’s next? 

Update (3/9):  Apparently other parts of the male anatomy need some flattening, too. This is getting scary.  (hat tip: BL Ochman).

… and in some places chambermaids take care of the “flattening” (hat tip: Vinnie Mirchandani)

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Google No Longer Funny

They used to have this message whenever Gmail went down:
“ Cross your fingers and try again in a few minutes”

I guess they’re now a serious company, Gmail dies just as frequently (like right now)  but the message is:
“We’re sorry, but Gmail is temporarily unavailable. We’re currently working to fix the problem — please try logging in to your account in a few minutes.”

Oh well, growing (?) pains …

Update: Thanks to SiliconBeat, now we know what it is… it’s a:


Oops, this could be bad:

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Google & Brondle, Toilet Matters

Quite a co-incidence to see these two post in my reader this morning…

Gold_toilet1.)  Huge Net Capex: One-Time or Permanent?

The WSJ describes a key issue facing the big net companies, especially Google: massive (and increasing) capital spending. Last week, for example, Google stated that 2006 CAPEX would “significantly exceed” 2005’s mind-boggling $800 million, prompting analysts to toss out 2006 estimates in the $1.25 to $1.5 billion range. Yahoo! spent $400 million last year, up from $250 million the year before. Amazon’s cranking up spending… (full article at the Internet Outsider)

Brondell

 

2.) Cuban invests in San Francisco toilet-seat maker

Mark Cuban, the wealthy Texan who sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo for $5.7 billion in 1999, has reached out to Silicon Valley and invested in Brondell, a manufacturer of Japanese-style toilets that wash your derriere with all kinds of delicate sprays (see video here)… (full article at SiliconBeat)

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Are we Men or Children? But Sometimes the Children are Men :-)

This is one of those cases where I had the urge to quickly comment on a post by Ken; then all of a sudden I realized it has it’s own place on my blog.

Ken laments on how  “little blogospats that are popping up all over the Blogosphere sound more like my kids fighting over a Polly Pocket than anything resembling reasoned conversation.” 
He refers to “Roy Schestowitz, all worked up because Scoble can’t build a computer out of wood and pine sap”  Roy goes a step further though: “Scoble cannot tell his ass from his face”  Hm, I have to agree with Ken, “the second you stop talking about the issue and start attacking your opponent, you have lost. Game over.” 
Random Bytes comes to Scoble’s defense: “I’ve chatted with him and he definitely left me with the impression that he didn’t wear his pants on his shoulders … There are all types of geeks out here. Some of us, I guess, are just ass-faces. Others, like Robert’s reader, seem to be just mainly asses.”    On the pants, issue, let’s refer to the expert, who knows Robert doesn’t wear his pants on his shoulders. He wears no pants at all, everyone knows he goes Naked.:-)

On a more serious note, I have news for Roy (and others): Technology’s primary role is to advance the lives of all of us, and guess what, that means mostly for non-technologists. We need  the ‘hardcore’ technologists who create it, the non-techie users (the rest of the world, which happens to be the majority), and the in-betweeners, who explain it, help us select and use it.

Ken, on a brighter note, to your “Are we men or are we children”:  well sometimes the children are menHere’s a blog worth reading.  Ben Casnocha was definitely a child when he started his first business (see USA Today Article). His not some kind of business-whiz-kid only. He eats books for lunch, reviewing a hundred or so per year. He is Captain of his high-schools basketball team.  He turned 18 a few days ago, but as a new subscriber to his blog, I think I’ve uncovered a big trick: he really is 28. At least intellectually. 

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Microsoft and Oracle in Fight Again…

…over Religion.

Back in 1994 a fake “news release” made the rounds on the Internet about Microsoft acquiring the Catholic Church.  Apparently quite a few people took it seriously, as Mr Softie got flooded with phone calls, so eventually Microsoft had to release a denial (see bottom of above link).  I kinda wonder if the naive folks were the descendants of those who took Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds a bit too literally half a century before…

Well, the good old joke is reborn, but Microsoft is so passe, the acquirer this time is Oracle. (hat tip: Jeff Nolan) Hey, it certainly fits Oracle’s philosophy:
“Ellison described ORACLE’s long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through
emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired — “One religion, a couple of different implementations,” said Ellison.”

I’m a bit disappointed though.. the new joke is a verbatim copy of the old one, with the names updated.  I think “Oracle” should have considered today’s political realities and acquire ALL major religions.     I’m known for coming up with new name-combo’s (see Sakia, Nonyo, Nokirola, Spomment, Boomble) and would have a few ideas for the new World Religion, but out of respect for the “legacy” religions I’ll refrain from that exercise

I wonder when we’ll hear details of the  2.0 version, in which Google Acquires the World.

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Google – Sun(day) Rumor

GoogleSun   Blogcritics.org speculates that Google is about to buy ailing Sun.

Ahhh, Daniel, could you not have waited till Monday so I can load up on Sun shares?   At least that’s a stock I can afford, vs. Google.

Of course it’s a less ambitious speculation than mine .

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Microsoft Blames Windows Explorer

Windows Vista Feb CTP Performance Problems? Try removing Windows Explorer! (via Jerry)

Also see: A Dead PC is a Safe PC – says Microsoft     
 

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Space-Age Cell Phone

NokirolaMy next cellphone will be  a Motorkia … don’t rush to order yet…. it’s dreamt up by a bunch of VC’s interviewed by Techcomm, The National Journal of Technology Commercialization.  Click the photo for details.

I wonder about the name though.. clearly the authors are thinking of Motorola+ Nokia … but have they realized Motorkia actually refers to Kia Motors?  Is that the right image for this Swiss-Army-Knife-Phone?   Even Motokia would have been better … although my favorite is Nokirola.

P.S.  I wonder what Steve Shu thinks about this…

Update (2/16):  OM shows a few cool phones in Revenge Of Windows Mobile  but hey, they are not as hot as the Nokirola

Update (2/16): Sanyo and Nokia creating joint venture… hm… Sakia?  Nonyo?

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