I don’t know why I haven’t killed HP Total Care Advisor yet, but today I accidentally clicked on it:

Wow.  I’ve seen crapware .. but never before have I seen a vendor with the audacity to place their shopping program under Critical Alerts.  Shame, shame, absolute shame, HP.

Tags: Customer support, hewlett-packard, HP, hp total care, technical support

Update: I did not think the photos would need explanation. Presumably everyone recognizes HP CEO Mark Hurd, but no, the guy on the right does not work for EDS. For younger readers: there was (is) a Very Blue, Very Big Corporation, that once made the transition from hardware to a services company, and the guy on the right is the turnaround CEO.

OK, that was the fun part, for real analysis read these other articles:

Tags: EDS, HP, IBM, Lou Gerstner, Mark Hurd

Reading this gem (hat tip: Ben Casnocha) about the nightmare of trying to get HP support their PC’s reminded me of my own horror story. Actually, not horror - just comedy.

Anyway… yeah, I was weak, fell for the good deal at Costco, and got myself a Vista-loaded junk from HP. There’s one component that shines - literally: the display. 22 inches of shiny black beauty, sharp screen, it tilts and moves around in every imaginable way, even pivots for a vertical view. But there was a little glitch with pivoting: I had to lie down to read the screen. There was no way to get the screen image rotate - something that should happen automatically.

I’ll spare you the first 20 minutes or so of the online chat with HP support, let’ s just jump to where it got really interesting:

Support: You probably have a video card that does not support auto-pivoting.

Me: That’s not possible. I did not build this machine, it’s a standard HP system out-of-the-box.

Support: I don’t understand.

Stop. Take a deep breath. This is just hilarious. Rather than trying to find the answer, the easy way out is to claim a standard configuration HP is selling consists of a mismatched video card and monitor. She has absolutely no idea how she is damaging the brand. Oh, well, let’s get a supervisor … wait .. disconnect.

Btw, “disconnecting” appears to be a standard HP solution to support issues: I’m still waiting for this other fellow to “gather all information” to my email over a month ago. Perhaps he’ll figure it out by the time I dump this PC.

Tags: Customer support, hewlett-packard, HP, LCD, technical support

I briefly wrote about my dismal customer support experience in Everything on this Vista PC is an Afterthought. The one piece I really like in this PC setup is the screen: 22 inches of shiny black beauty, sharp screen, it tilts and moves around in every imaginable way, even pivots for a vertical view.

There’s only one problem: colors are way off without detailed calibration. HP provides an easy-to-use (albeit not too effective) software product, which allows me to save my new defaults in a file. Too bad the configuration file is user-dependent, and I have two User Accounts on this machine. I really don’t want to go through the configuration hassle twice, so I thought I’d copy the file to the other user account… however, I could not locate it in any of the usual suspect directories, not even search by name. That’s what online support is for - so I thought, naively. This is the template response I received to my 3-line request to locate the file:

Hello Zoltan,
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
I gather from your email that you have downloaded and installed HP My Display and you would like to know if you can make this software user dependent.

I understand the importance of your query and look forward to provide you with the appropriate information.

Zoltan, the display settings for each user can be saved, providing an
easy way to select display characteristics in a multi-user environment, or to
save multiple defined presets for a single user based on content and ambient
lighting.
HP My Display enables monitor adjustment and color tuning using the Display
Data Channel (DDCommand Interface C/CI) protocol. All adjustments to the
display are controlled through software to eliminate the need to use the
monitor on-screen display (OSD). HP My Display runs in the background and can
be accessed through the Task tray, Start menu, or by right-clicking in a blank
area of the desktop. The HP My Display utility enables quick, accurate tuning
of the display, with the ability to easily save and use monitor configurations
that are best suited to the user.
HP My Display has two modes of operation: Wizard and OSD mode. The preferred
method of use is Wizard mode, which provides a step-by-step process to
accurately calibrate the monitor. OSD mode enables changes to any single
monitor setting without stepping through a predefined sequence. This method is
less accurate than Wizard mode, but enables easy access to any monitor
adjustment.

For more information you can use the Manual as how to use the software:

http://h10032.www1.hp.com/ctg/Manual/c00834092.pdf

I also want to inform you that the downloaded files gets saved to temp folder as default location if the location is not given while downloading the file and the setup file can be located by any user by following the steps given below:

• Click on Start >Computer.
• Double click on Local drive (C:)
• Double click on Program Files.
• Select HP My Display folder and open the same and you will get the setup file.

If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
You may receive an e-mail survey regarding your e-mail support experience. We would appreciate your feedback.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare

What’s wrong here? I’m looking for a solution, don’t give me this pompous BS on how great your software is, HP, especially when you don’t address the one and only question I had. In fact the first and only non-canned sentence clearly shows you did not even listen (read): you think I want to make configuration user dependent : it already is, I want it user independent! If you read my original inquiry, you should know all this crap on how to install and use the configuration tool is useless, since I have already completed these steps.

OK, cool-off, send HP another email:

Thanks, but this template answer is a complete nonsense. I have succesfully used the software, saved it to a file. The ONLY question I had, and still have is this:
A: Can I save the confguration in a non-user-dependent area, so the same settings apply
B: If not, where is the config file stored, so I can copy it to other user directories.

Same-day response:

Hello Zoltan,
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

Zoltan, it is our goal to answer questions presented to us as quickly as
possible. From reading your e-mail I will need to do some additional
research to provide you with a resolution to this issue.

As soon as I have gathered this information I will e-mail you again. I apologize for any inconvenience this delay may cause.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
You may receive an e-mail survey regarding your e-mail support experience. We would appreciate your feedback.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare

Locating a file needs additional research. Two days later I’m still waiting. Customer Support, the HP-way.

Tags: calibration, Customer support, hewlett-packard, HP, LCD, technical support

OK, so I bit the bullet: after being so critical of Vista, I ended up buying a PC blessed cursed with this Operating System. Not that I changed my mind: I simply wanted an ergonomic desktop, for the times I’m stuck at the desk anyway. Costco had a fairly good promotional offer on a loaded super-duper-multimedia HP with this beauty of a display.

Well, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but this 22″ baby has beautiful colors, is fast and the most versatile I’ve seen - it can even pivot to portrait position - except I don’t know why I would want to do that, considering the software does not work, not even after the update.

But first things first: unpacking. This thing has a wireless keyboard and mouse, which is nice - but why on earth do I need to plug in a USB transmitter for them to work? This isn’t an after-market add-on, this configuration only comes with wireless. Talk about wireless, this being a desktop, my primary desktop connection will be via the LAN cable, but why does HP bundle another plug-in, a wireless antenna with this unit? (which, incidentally was missing from my package). Why not just build it in. OK, let’s move on: this whole multimedia center thingie (TV, DVR, remote) does not excite me a lot, but since it there, I will eventually figure out how to work it. But wait: for the remote to work, I have to … yes, you guessed it right, I have to plug-in yet another component, a wireless receiver.

I am not trying to expand the system: out-of-the-box, just to use the basic capabilities I have to plug-in three “extensions” that could very well have been built in. Are these features all afterthoughts? (And I haven’t even mentioned the jungle of cables into the monitor, including a USB connector to enable the two other USB ports on the side of the display).

The next two days were spent with installation, which primarily consisted of removing some of the junk software loaded by HP (I still could not get rid of the Yahoo Search-bar at the bottom!) and setting up my own stuff. I killed the 60-day Norton trial, not that McAfee is better, but it’s free with my Comcast subscription. Too bad it wouldn’t install. This turned out to be a case study on the worth of Customer Support:

• Costco Concierge on the phone: after 4-5 minutes she is still stuck trying to spell my name - who has time for this? No way she can help me.
• HP Online Support: quickly says the disclaimer that it’s not a HP product, so I should really go to the other vendor, but he will try to help anyway. Well, 8-10 minutes later he concludes I should go to Windows Safe mode for this install. Oh, boy. If I have to start safe-moding on a vanilla, out-of-the box machine, what else am I in for during the lifetime of this thing? I tell him I won’t do this exercise, will likely return the machine next day
• McAfee Online Support: he is quite clueless, too, but has an interesting prospective: perhaps, despite the aborted installation (which I repeated 4 times, Control Panel-uninstall-reboot-install included) McAfee might actually be working properly on my machine. Although he didn’t seem to get the concept of corrupted (or missing files) and had no way to verify his idea, he still planted the bug in me, so later, on my own I found a McAfee diagnostic tool that verified that I have the correct setup on my system. So, perhaps I am protected. I guess that’s the definition of hopeware.

I will spare you the details of my two-day struggle with Vista, the fight with the idiotic permission-scheme, (can’t delete my own stuff), the incompatibilities, the fact that there’s less and less information to be found, other than from users - hey, even the User Manuals link points to nowhere… enough said already. After two days, I can use the system (the screen is beautiful) but I’m far from done.

I’m starting to see how this supposedly good deal will turn out to be more expensive then a matching Mac. The funny sad thing is, I myself talked about this, describing the $1,500 iPhone: it’s the cost of my own time. . This whole Vista-Microsoft-HP-Dell-you-name-it enchilada is anything but user friendly, a pain to work with. In fact, “work” is the operational word here: I don’t want to work setting up this thing, I just want to use it. Perhaps Steve Jobs and co. are turning a disadvantage into an advantage: they are not the darlings of the corporate market.. so they have to focus on individual users, who don’t have an IT department to support them. That means they are just turning out usable, friendly boxes.

Oh, talk about boxes, Joel Spolsky has a hilarious post today: Even the Office 2007 box has a learning curve, discussing Office 2007’s fancy box (which is the same design Vista comes in):

…I simply could not figure out how to open the bizarre new packaging.
…It represents a complete failure of industrial design; an utter F in the school of Donald Norman’s Design of Everyday Things.
…It seems like even rudimentary usability testing would have revealed the problem. A box that many people can’t figure out how to open without a Google search is an unusually pathetic failure of design.

Chris Pirillo responds: Windows Vista Isn’t for Developers?

Hm, now I really don’t know what to think. All this while I’ve been making the point that Vista is not for earthly users; now Chris makes the point it’s not for developers, either. So, who exactly is Vista meant to be for?

Update: How timely… read Raju, a Mac Convert’s testimony: Windows (Dell) to Mac: Thats a smooth ride. Damn. I have 90 days (Costco’s return policy) to make up my mind. But even if I take the smooth ride, no-one is paying for my wasted time….

Update #2: I’m speechless… but Vista has just given me another proof that’s it’s not meant for *users*. Here’s am error window:

Windows decided to mess with Firefox, without telling me, the owner of the computer what it did. OK, let’s click on the link, perhaps it tells us what happened:

What changes does it make?

It depends on the problem, but any changes made are related to how Windows runs the program.

blahblahblah … but it gets better:

How do I turn it off or turn it back on?

Adjustments to the Program Compatibility Wizard can be made by using Group Policy. For more information on how to use Group Policy, go to the Microsoft website for IT professionals.

So let’s get this straight: Vista makes changes to my system, to the most important program I use, Firefox, without asking me, without telling me what those changes were, how to undo them. And if I want to prevent such aggression in the future, I should go to the “IT Professionals” site.

Well, I won’t. A computer sold at Costco, BestBuy, Fry’s ..etc is a Consumer Device. I am a Consumer. This Operating System is NOT for consumers. Microsoft (via HP) sold me garbage.

I can’t wait for the Vista related Class Action cases.

Update: I think I’ll try this tweaky-thingy recommended at WebWorkerDaily.

Update (8/23): Dell must share my views of Vista, or in fact Windows in general, having shipped this laptop without any OS at all

Update (8/23): Even a 6-year-old knows better… he is right, my next PC will be an Apple. And since I’m already doing most of my work on the Web, the transition won’t be a big deal.

OK, this is too much of a coincidence (or not?): when I described Microsoft Money as a showcase for what’s wrong with Microsoft’s Software + Service concept, Omar Shahine, a Microsoft employee responded - he experienced very similar problems. And what am I reading today on Omar’s blog? It’s been a bad month for Vista.

Tags: computes, design, desktop computer, desktop search, ergonomics, firefox, hopeware, HP, microsoft, ms office, Office 2007, usability, vista, vistasucks, Windows, windows vista